Friday, December 17, 2010
Stuck in the middle
Lately stuck is how I have felt. It makes me a little sad because I know that I have not chose to have joy always. I struggle with how to be a mom to four children and fulfilling that role with love and grace. We are also engaged in a college ministry through Young Life, which I really love but feel torn constantly. In the past I have always been able to make YL and motherhood work together but lately it's been more than difficult. When I am with my college girls I love and enjoy my time, what a fun age group! But as I drive home or end a night somewhere I feel sad that I have to put my children aside. Mind you these are all feeling that I am working through and I believe that it's good for your children to see you be outward focused. I just wonder if my kids are starting to be at a age where I need to invest in their spiritual lives more deeply. I read Romans 1-3 today and it was refreshing to be in God's word, I read it out loud to myself, that's what I needed. I aiming to take one day at a time and be diligent where I am in each moment of the day. I can only do this in your strength Lord and choosing to renew my mind daily!
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6 comments:
That is a hard balance for me too. How do I serve others faithfully, but also put serving the family God has given me 1st? Let me know when you find the answer :)
I agree - it is hard to find balance. Your kids are seeing you do great ministry Maria & I know that is such a blessing. They will remember the way you are giving your life away! Be encouraged!
Thanks both of you!
okay i typed up a super long response and now it is gone. guess that was not what i was supposed to say to you. :)
i have been thinking about this post since you wrote it yesterday, so i felt i should write something. we struggled with this when we were first married-we had really become believers while doing yl and that was really all we knew. once we had tommy and hunter and keith was working pg fulltime, yl was out of the question. it was super hard for us to figure our what our walk with christ looked like without yl, the two had always been so closely tied. quickly after that came anna and then ben and joe. i learned quickly to say no to more things then yes. it was so good for me to look at parenting as discipleship-i get to mentor, disciple and love these kids 24 hours a day-doesnt get much better then that! when tommy and hunter started kindergarten, god brought a college girl into my life and i began meeting with her-i felt one was all i could balance with 5 running around. the next year, i met with her roommates as well and now i meet with 5+ girls on a weekly basis. there is NO WAY i could have balanced that with the kids home-i feel that is only possible now because all of the kids are now in school fulltime. the college girls know if they want to meet one on one, they get between 8-2 M-F. i think you have to really look and find a good balance-it is not a good feeling to be one place, wishing you were another-you want your mind to be able to focus where you are at. keith was at a church planting conference once and they speaker said to them that 'you are the only husband and father your kids have. no one else is going to step in and fill that. that is your responsibility. " it was good for both of us to be reminded that those are two of the primary relationships that we are called to.
okay i once again rambled and am probably typing all of this out more for myself then you. :)
you are a fabulous mom and i am sure are super stellar at balancing all these things. just search scripture, ask god where he wants you and don't be afraid to say no. :)
and also, in saying they only get '8-2', i mean that is when they can have one on one time where i am focused on their issues. girls come over here for dinner, babysitting, family time (because i think it is SO crucial for them to see these things-some have never seen a family where the husband and wife love each other and god!) but making that slight separation.
okay i am done.
i am sure you will never want a comment from me again! :)
Much appreciated Shelly! Thank you
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