Attempts at who I want to be.

"The person you someday want to be, you are now becoming."

This is the quote I have been focusing on lately.  Ben has said it several times I am not really sure where it came from, my guess is from his days of selling books.  I was thinking one day recently after he said it, "Who is it that I want to be?".  The things that came to mind were things like a woman who is a powerful prayer warrior, someone who aims for a healthy body but is not consumed by it and someone who cares enough about creating history for her kids through documenting stories and pictures.  I could come up with a list of 10 more things but this is where I stopped and focused the last week and a half. 

Recently a friend and I have decided to come together weekly and pray, along with fasting the same meal together.  Wow this has been powerful, why have I chosen to skip one of the most intimate parts of a relationship with Christ and with another believer?  Since we started a couple of months ago I feel like I see how the Lord yearns to connect with us in this way.  This very simple time together has bonded us in a way no amount of time spent hanging out together would.  I know the art of praying with focus and diligence takes just that and I have a very long way to go!  But I want to make strides daily in engaging the Lord and others in this way.

And then there is health and documenting life, ugh.  We eat healthy in our house and make smart choices with food, lots of from scratch meals with fruits and veggies, for me it was easy to stop there.  I have always found an excuse to not go on walks usually revolving around my kids, but lately we have have thrown those excuses out the window.  My sister in law Kerry said that she would like to be outside with Lyla for an hour a day regardless of the temps or weather, not sure if she kept up with that but it inspired me none the less.  I am the queen of excuses, I love to find reasons why I don't do things.  So I want to be a healthy woman, who also cares about being active and I want that for my kids. I forget sometimes that it is me that they imitate.  I'm proud to say we have gone on 4 walks in the last 7 days with kids, for me that's a big deal!  As far as documenting life this is my lame attempt but I have some ideas cooking and will do my best to do them, not just talk about them.  So I end on the note that I am aiming to do things that will help me be who I aim to be, and to stop the excuses I love to make for myself! "The person you someday want to be, you are now becoming."


Kids and family:

We have been battling the last 6 days some nasty stomach bug that looks like it come and disappears for a day and then will pop back up.  I have 2 home from school today, I am really hoping it will go away soon! 

Ben got home from his 4 nights away on Saturday night, it could not have come faster.  He has to go away every year twice, once in the winter and once in the summer.  In the past I have not handled this well but this year I felt prepared spiritually to handle the kids and life without him.  I think if I'm honest the thing that is the hardest when he is gone is that he is so consumed in business and relationships that there is very little time for him to miss me.  I have all the time in the world to miss his presence for those few days.  This time I did miss him a lot and really longed to just spend time with him but it was different because I didn't buy into the lies that I love to believe sometimes that he must not love me or my worth comes from his words or actions toward me, oh so freeing.