Good-bye Earthly Hello Heavenly

I have given myself exactly 10 minutes to write my thoughts...here we go.

This morning was hard and I am not sure really why.  Nothing has really changed lately.  Ben is definitely busier at work and the kids have their normal school routine.  But I felt sad and kinda sad for myself and I know that is never a good place to be.  But God did not let me stay there this morning, I knew deep in my heart that without going to the feet of his throne with a desperate cry I would have a day that could feel unbearable.  At the same time knowing that truth I still fight it, I guess that's natural to not want to give up what you hold onto.  In my case it was self (self pity, selfishness, bad attitude...).  This morning I read Colossians 3:12-15, I was quickly reminded what I was clothed in and it wasn't tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  I was not willing to make any allowance for Ben or any of his faults or to truly forgive him as God has forgiven me!  Then to continue I most definitely had not clothed myself with love.  I know that this is the only real thing that will hold a marriage and family together so why do I run from it?  I am so selfish at the root of it!  I decided I needed to read the chapter from the beginning since I was reading this out of context, so I went to 3:1 and started and there it was the reminder of why I aim to do anything in my life.  "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven"...I have been out of focus I had been setting my sights on earth and not the things of heaven.  I'd like to think, good you read some nice scripture this morning now I have it and I will have a great day, but I know that this is a battle of the mind and will.  I am ready and I know with prayer and reminding myself of truth I can live my day very differently than I have for the last month.  Lord you are the only thing that gives life, I aim to have a thankful heart today!