Death has become a very familiar word in our household lately, we are possibly nearing the death of our 3rd grandfather since January. In January Ben's grand daddy passed away very suddenly and this is where it all begun this year. We were unable to make it to the funeral due to finances and long travel, which was very hard and sad. This is the first time that we had some real conversations about family and what it means to each of us and where we want to go with our children and relationships with relatives. I think it was a good time of reflecting how important it is for our children to know who their great and grad father and mothers are, this is what will give them their rich family history and help shape them as individuals. We spent time reflecting and thinking about these things, and in no time did God help us put some of our lessons to practice.
In February my grandpa Roessler was diagnosed with cancer and was in and out of the hospital. In mid March he passed away at his home. This was the first time in a long time that I have experienced so much grief. This was the first of any of my grandparents to pass away, I didn't know how much that can hurt. There are not many people who can say that they have known me my entire life, but he was one of them. It's so strange how memories have come flooding back of the interactions or talks I've had with him. I think this is the Lord's way of helping me grieve and heal from a loss. It was really sweet to see the way my children grieved Kate and Jack understood more than the younger two. They both on several occasions cried and recalled the way they love and will miss him. Since, it has been fun to recall who grandpa was and how he has impacted their lives.
Yesterday while at the zoo my mom received a call from my dad letting us know that his dad in Michigan was ill and not likely to recover. Uggg...so hard! Why is this a part of life, I guess it's an incredible reminder of sin and the reason we can't live forever on earth, without the hope of Christ. Boy will eternal life be amazing, to never deal with the emotions of death again! So again I found myself flooded with these memories and emotions. He has not left this life yet, so my emotions are a bit different but the grieving has already started. It's hard to tell your kids that someone else who is apart of their life and history will soon not be with us. Due to geography my kids have not spent as much time with this grandfather but, he just like the others is very much a part of their lives. It's really difficult to know that the next time we travel to Michigan we will not be with him. This leg of my journey is not over but the Lord is surely showing me the Hope he has set before me and has used saints that have gone before me with some incredibly comforting words. I have spent the last two weeks reading Corrie ten Boom's book He Cares He Comforts...so, so wonderful!
